Show and tell editing: Commas of the founders

This article originally appeared in the Copyediting newsletter as part of a series of “show and tell” articles describing the process of copy editing problematic passages. The original text is presented first so you can try your hand at making corrections before reading on.

I have a jar on my desk where I keep all the leftover commas I’ve removed from documents over years of editing. Any editing project involves a fair amount of taking commas from one place and putting them in another, but I always end up with some extras when I’m done.

If I were an editor in the nineteenth century, I would have more commas than would fit in a large brass spittoon. There is a persistent idea that a comma represents a pause in speech, a catching of the breath. The colonials' lack of automobiles or escalators may explain why the founders were always out of breath and therefore inserted so many commas into America’s founding documents.

Actually, the comma did start out as a cue to pause. Relatively recently, we’ve made it something more, using it only in certain cases to help us avoid confusion in reading. We use commas for introductory phrases and adverbs, to separate items in lists or strings of adjectives, to set off asides and parenthetical information, and to set off quotations. We also use them to address someone, dear reader, and we use them for large numbers and geographic designations. When we use them for pauses, that often just confuses things.

If you were charged by James Madison, the fourth US president, to clean up a letter he wrote to Congress in 1810, you would probably start with fixing the commas. There is more than punctuation to fix in the below letter, including a few odd pre–Noah Webster spellings. But, mostly, it’s commas. If you keep track of how many commas you remove and how many you insert, how many will end up in your jar? Will you have a few semicolons, too? The middle of Madison’s letter below has been removed, lest you be overwhelmed by extracted punctuation.

Fellow Citizens of the Senate, and of the House of Representatives.

In calling you together sooner than, a separation from your homes, would otherwise have been required; I yielded to considerations, drawn from the posture of our foreign affairs; and in fixing the present, for the time of your meeting; regard was had to the probability of further developments of the policy of the Belligerent Powers towards this Country, which might the more unite the national councils, in the measures to be pursued.

At the close of the last session of Congress, it was hoped, that the successive confirmations of the extinction of the French Decrees, so far as they violated our neutral commerce, would have induced the Government of Great Britain to repeal its orders in Council; and thereby authorize a removal of the existing obstructions, to her commerce with the United States.

Instead of this reasonable step towards satisfaction and friendship between the two nations, the orders were, at a moment when least to have been expected, put into more rigorous execution; and it was communicated through the British Envoy just arrived, that, whilst the revocation of the Edicts of France, as officially made known to the British Government, was denied to have taken place; it was an indispensable condition of the repeal of the British orders, that commerce should be restored to a footing, that would admit the productions and manufactures of Great Britain, when owned by neutrals, into markets shut against them by her Enimy; the United States being given to understand that, in the mean time, a continuance of their non-importation Act, would lead to measures of retaliation.

In the unfriendly spirit of those disclosures, indemnity and redress for other wrongs, have continued to be withheld; and our Coasts and the mouths of our harbours, have again witnessed scenes, not less derogatory to the dearest of our national rights, than vexatious to the regular course of our trade.

I recommend, accordingly, that adequate provision be made, for filling the ranks, and prolonging the enlistments of the regular troops; for an auxiliary force, to be engaged for a more limited term; for the acceptance of volunteer Corps, whose patriotic arder may court a participation in urgent services; for detachments, as they be wanted, of other portions of the Militia; and for such a preparation of the great Body, as will proportion its usefulness, to its intrinsic capacities. Nor can the occasion fail to remind you, of the importance of those Military Seminaries, which, in every event, will form a valuable and frugal part of our Military establishment.

The receipts into the Treasury, during the year ending on the thirtieth of september last, have exceeded thirteen Millions and a half of Dollars; and have enabled us to defray the current expences, including the Interest on the public debt, and to reimburse more than five Millions of Dollars, of the principal; without recurring to the loan authorized by the Act of the last session. The temporary loan obtained in the latter end of the year one thousand eight hundred and ten, has also been reimbursed, and is not included in that amount.

I cannot close this communication, without expressing my deep sense of the crisis in which you are assembled, my confidence in a wise and honorable result to your deliberations, and assurances of the faithful zeal with which my co-operating duties will be discharged; invoking, at the same time, the blessing of Heaven on our beloved Country, and on all the means that may be employed, in vindicating its rights, and advancing its welfare.

James Madison

I think my final count is 2 commas added and 30 deleted, for a net of 28 commas added to my jar. Both of those added commas took the place of semicolons. I also changed two semicolons into periods and deleted four more semicolons outright.

While it was clear that many of the commas did not belong, it was sometimes difficult to follow the grammar once they were gone. At times, Madison seemingly threw together disparate thoughts and separated them with commas. That introductory phrase, for example, is awkward no matter how we punctuate it. It’s nice that Madison is thinking about members of Congress having to leave their homes, but it’s much easier to follow if we remove that reference, delete all but one comma, and then convert all but one semicolon to commas. It’s windy, but it works.

In other cases, what seem like endless run-ons actually have a logical order. The fourth paragraph, for example, is 128 words in one sentence. On first pass, I simply eliminated three extraneous commas and changed two semicolons into commas. It was grammatically fine, and I was tempted to stop there, but I went back and suggested where the paragraph could be divided into three sentences.

Capitalization was also fairly indecipherable in Madison’s day. I lowercased a few words that one might argue were capped for emphasis or in the manner of the time and venue: citizens, belligerent powers, country, decrees, government, council, envoy, enimy (sic), coasts, military (I gave the benefit of the doubt on Militias), interest, act, heaven. I eliminated the capitalized Dollars in favor of the dollar symbol. And the odd lowercase september should be capitalized.

The sixth paragraph, the one on provisioning the military, contains a list divided with four semicolons. There are several extraneous commas, but the semicolon use is spot on. In the seventh paragraph, however, the semicolons are confusing. The first maybe is included to make the reader stop and take notice before moving on. The second seems tossed in randomly. I deleted both.

Here is what my final edit looks like, with comma and semicolon use more suited to modern conventions than what came from the pens of Madison and his compatriots. Deletions are in strikethrough text and additions are in red:

Fellow citizensCitizens of the Senate and of the House of Representatives,.

In calling you together sooner than, a separation from your homes, would otherwise have been required,; I yielded to considerations, drawn from the posture of our foreign affairs; and in fixing the present, for the time of your meeting,; regard was had to the probability of further developmentsdevelopements of the policy of the belligerent powers Belligerent Powers towards this countryCountry, which might the more unite the national councils, in the measures to be pursued.

At the close of the last session of Congress, it was hoped, that the successive confirmations of the extinction of the French decreesDecrees, so far as they violated our neutral commerce, would have induced the governmentGovernment of Great Britain to repeal its orders in councilCouncil; and thereby authorize a removal of the existing obstructions, to her commerce with the United States.

Instead of this reasonable step towardtowards satisfaction and friendship between the two nations, the orders were, at a moment when least to have been expected, put into more rigorous execution; and it. It was communicated through the British envoyEnvoy just arrived, that, while the revocation of the Edicts of France, as officially made known to the British governmentGovernment, was denied to have taken place,; it was an indispensable condition of the repeal of the British orders that commerce should be restored to a footing, that would admit the productions and manufacture of Great Britain, when owned by neutrals, into markets shut against them by her enemyEnimy.;  Thethe United States wasbeing given to understand that, in the meantimemean time, a continuance of its Non-Importation Act their non-importation Act, would lead to measures of retaliation.

In the unfriendly spirit of those disclosures, indemnity and redress for other wrongs, have continued to be withheld,; and our coastsCoasts and the mouths of our harborsharbours, have again witnessed scenes, not less derogatory to the dearest of our national rights than vexatious to the regular course of our trade.

I recommend, accordingly, that adequate provision be made, for filling the ranks, and prolonging the enlistments of the regular troops; for an auxiliary force, to be engaged for a more limited term; for the acceptance of volunteer corpsCorps, whose patriotic ardorarder may court a participation in urgent services; for detachments, as they be wanted, of other portions of the Militia; and for such a preparation of the great bodyBody, as will proportion its usefulness, to its intrinsic capacities. Nor can the occasion fail to remind you of the importance of those military seminariesMilitary Seminaries, which, in every event, will form a valuable and frugal part of our militaryMilitary establishment.

The receipts into the Treasury, during the year ending on September 30 lastthe thirtieth of september last, have exceeded $13.5 millionthirteen Millions and a half of Dollars; and have enabled us to defray the current expensesexpences, including the interestInterest on the public debt, and to reimburse more than $5 millionfive Millions of Dollars, of the principal without recurring to the loan authorized by the actAct of the last session. The temporary loan obtained in the latter end of the year 1810 one thousand eight hundred and ten, has also been reimbursed, and is not included in that amount.

I cannot close this communication, without expressing my deep sense of the crisis in which you are assembled, my confidence in a wise and honorable result to your deliberations, and assurances of the faithful zeal with which my co-operating duties will be discharged,; invoking, at the same time, the blessing of heavenHeaven on our beloved countryCountry, and on all the means that may be employed, in vindicating its rights, and advancing its welfare.

James Madison

This article was originally posted on Copyediting.com on 9/13/18.
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